L.I.G.

There is a lot of pain and hurt that I have been holding on to. Some pain is old and some pain is new. I am still trying to grasp the concept of this disease and the damage it has done to me and my family, but the pain and anger that I would really like to let go of is caused by my family. We use to be really close but everything changed when my father had his first heart attack. I was maybe 9 or 10 and he had so many little strokes and heart attacks that he ended up in the nursing home. Something happen to my family we just grew apart and I miss them so much. My mother - I love very much and it pains me to have told her to stop calling me today but there was and still is damage that she doesn't want to confront and because she refuses and ignores reality our relationship will always suffer. She recently did something that was unforgivable and she then pretends it didn’t even happen. It’s one thing to make a mistake and then realize that you have hurt someone and try to make it right, but when you really hurt someone and pretend you did nothing it really effects people in a different way.


So how do you stop someone from hurting you and disrupting your life especially when it’s your mother?

I asked my god mother what I should do and she said that I first have to figure out how to let go of the hurt and anger of the past not for her but for me to move forward. So, how do you do that when the person you are trying to heal from keeps calling pretending everything is fine and refuses to talk about anything.


I know she loves me in her odd way but it doesn’t excuse her from her actions and my job now is to protect and care for my children. I hope one day she can see that.

So for now I am going to PRAY, PRAY, PRAY.