This disease does not have a cure. There is no proven procedures that are effective, there is not really any research that is being done because it is not a priority disease, as like cancer, so no funding is possible. This is what I heard yesterday. There is nothing they can do to help the pain except to put me on a Pain management program that will help me psycologically deal with my pain. He says the program is intense and it will help me to not just sit around a feel sorry for myself. Yea, well Right now I really can't fathom the idea of dealing with this my whole life, especially with a new baby on the way. Will I eventually not be able to pick up my own child? There are about only about 7-8 doctors in the world that even deal with this disease. They will not take Medicaid, but they will take money and a substantial amount of it. I have never felt so alone or given up on. God Help me!
Do I have a right to feel sorry for myself because I feel I shouldn't, but sometimes I can't help myself and I just breakdown and cry!!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
It's all in my head!!!
So here is the new scoop on my disease.
I went to the doctor, paid by workers comp, and he told me that there is no evidence that the cyst is what is causing my pain, even though I have brought him documentations from a tarlov cyst specialist that says the cyst is causing my pain. So I asked him, in your opinion what is causing my pain and the only thing he keeps coming back with is that it is basically all in my head. He says that taking the medication is causing the pain and because of the medication I have a chemical imbalance in my brain, these are the factors in which causes my pain to exists . So basically I am crazy and time and taking me off my meds will decrease my pain.
Here is my point before I got on meds I was in pain so what cause the pain to start in the first place. He has no answer. I asked him why are we not doing any scientific test to rule out different diseases like fibromyalga or astio arthritis and his answer to that is even if he wanted to order these test to find the root of my problem workers comp. would not approve these test.
So basically I have about 8 months before the statue of limitations runs out threw workers comp. and I believe they are just stalling so that they won't be responsible for any of my medical conditions. I asked him if I came with $100,000 of my own money would he run the test if I asked him and his answer was no. When I asked him why he said because the tests are not going to solve my problem. Again he goes back to talking about meds. and how being on them is the reason for my pain.
BULL SHI*!!!!!!!!
It all comes down to money if I had a lot of it, I bet I wouldn't have been in this much pain for this period of time and I bet they would have ran what ever test were necessary to figure this out.
Why do I feel like I am being taken for a joy ride?
What would you do if you were in my situation?
I went to the doctor, paid by workers comp, and he told me that there is no evidence that the cyst is what is causing my pain, even though I have brought him documentations from a tarlov cyst specialist that says the cyst is causing my pain. So I asked him, in your opinion what is causing my pain and the only thing he keeps coming back with is that it is basically all in my head. He says that taking the medication is causing the pain and because of the medication I have a chemical imbalance in my brain, these are the factors in which causes my pain to exists . So basically I am crazy and time and taking me off my meds will decrease my pain.
Here is my point before I got on meds I was in pain so what cause the pain to start in the first place. He has no answer. I asked him why are we not doing any scientific test to rule out different diseases like fibromyalga or astio arthritis and his answer to that is even if he wanted to order these test to find the root of my problem workers comp. would not approve these test.
So basically I have about 8 months before the statue of limitations runs out threw workers comp. and I believe they are just stalling so that they won't be responsible for any of my medical conditions. I asked him if I came with $100,000 of my own money would he run the test if I asked him and his answer was no. When I asked him why he said because the tests are not going to solve my problem. Again he goes back to talking about meds. and how being on them is the reason for my pain.
BULL SHI*!!!!!!!!
It all comes down to money if I had a lot of it, I bet I wouldn't have been in this much pain for this period of time and I bet they would have ran what ever test were necessary to figure this out.
Why do I feel like I am being taken for a joy ride?
What would you do if you were in my situation?
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Surprise!
I have not been blogging lately because I have some surprising news that has been taking a lot of my time and energy.
So I went to the Doctor the other day because my pain has intensified and I didn't know why. Even the pain medications where not helping as much as they used to. After doing the test that where necessary he came back into the room only to tell us that I was PREGNANT. Oh My Gosh. I am happy but terrified. I am scared for the baby and my self. I am afraid of how bad the pain will get and then you can not take the pain medications the way you need to. I don't know how this is going to work out, but I really want this baby.
Wow, a baby, I hope it is a boy. Well will see January 11, 2011.
How unbearable do you think the pain is going to get? What is your opinion on taking pain medication while being pregnant?
So I went to the Doctor the other day because my pain has intensified and I didn't know why. Even the pain medications where not helping as much as they used to. After doing the test that where necessary he came back into the room only to tell us that I was PREGNANT. Oh My Gosh. I am happy but terrified. I am scared for the baby and my self. I am afraid of how bad the pain will get and then you can not take the pain medications the way you need to. I don't know how this is going to work out, but I really want this baby.
Wow, a baby, I hope it is a boy. Well will see January 11, 2011.
How unbearable do you think the pain is going to get? What is your opinion on taking pain medication while being pregnant?
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The Forgotten
There is a small community of people about 5-9 percent of the population who are dealing with this rare disease called Tarlov cyst disease. There isn’t a lot of research being done in fact I only found about three good reliable websites with some good information on them. (I will list them below) There are forums were hundreds of people from all over the world are dealing with this, unbearable and difficult disease. Just like any other disease the symptoms vary depending on size, location, and person. A list of my symptoms are Upper muscle spasms, lower back pain, hip and joint pain, tenderness in sacral area (buttock area) , numbness and tingling in leg, bowel and bladder dysfunction, Cannot sit, stand or walk.
Here is a common problem that most people who have symptoms from their Tarlov cyst have run into. There is not very many studies or research, In fact it is my believe that this disease is not taken as seriously as it should be taken. When I first got diagnosed my doctor said he had no idea what it was and looked it up on the computer in front of me. He said surgery will take care of it no problem. I researched it and found surgery is very risky. Let me read some of the risk factors involved with this surgery: loss of function in bowel, bladder, legs, sexual organs, and or permanent nerve damage. Not to mention that the surgery could make symptoms worse.
The second doctor said that the Tarlov cyst isn’t causing my problems but couldn’t say really what it was so he pawned me off on a pain management office.
The last doctor told me to suck it up. I am just going to have to figure out a way to deal with my pain. Their big thing is that peoples mind are unbalanced because of all the pain medication and their method of fixing my pain is counseling and gradually taking me off my pain medications. So far this has not worked.
The Tarlov cyst Disease isn’t an important enough disease to get national attention and support, but it’s just big enough to ruin peoples life and leaves us alone and helpless. The Tarlov Cyst Association answers the question Are Tarlov cysts a type of cancer? Here’s what they say:
Tarlov cysts are not cancer. Symptomatic Tarlov cysts are morbid enlargements that continue to grow, which, according to historical usage, qualifies them to be classed as tumors; however, Tarlov cysts grow from the pressure of spinal fluid within them, not through abnormal cell division. So Tarlov cysts are not neoplasms or cancer.
Like cancer, however, Tarlov cysts can cause severe debilitating pain and can also damage distant organs; Tarlov cysts do this by affecting the flow of nerve energy and the pressure of spinal fluid.
Like cancer, Tarlov cysts can cause intractable pain and can lead to severe depression and suicidal behavior. Unlike cancer, symptomatic Tarlov cysts are rarely diagnosed. There is no medical "industry" in the diagnosis and treatment of Tarlov disease.
Tarlov disease can advance to the stage of constant excruciating pain. If not successfully treated, a person in this stage of the disease can die from the stress of the suffering, from the pain medications, or from suicide. Although Tarlov disease is not a form of cancer, it should be should be taken with as much seriousness by doctors, patients and their families.
The most important word in their reading is “Seriously” We are defiantly not taken seriously. Are we not important? I feel as if I will die because of this disease. I have always felt I was put on this earth for a reason not yet shown to me. So if this is my reason than let my voice be heard. I am tired of being pushed around. I have a rare disease. I am in pain all the time. I am depressed. I need assistance. I need someone who is here for the greater good. I NEED HELPPPPPP!!! IS ANYONE LISTENING? Why is nothing being done about this?
Tarlov Cyst Links:
Tarlov Cyst Association
http://www.tarlovcyst.org/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1
Tarlov Cyst Disease Foundation
http://www.tarlovcystfoundation.org/Home.asp
National Organization for Rare Disorders
http://www.rarediseases.org/search/rdbdetail_abstract.html?disname=Tarlov%20Cysts
Here is a common problem that most people who have symptoms from their Tarlov cyst have run into. There is not very many studies or research, In fact it is my believe that this disease is not taken as seriously as it should be taken. When I first got diagnosed my doctor said he had no idea what it was and looked it up on the computer in front of me. He said surgery will take care of it no problem. I researched it and found surgery is very risky. Let me read some of the risk factors involved with this surgery: loss of function in bowel, bladder, legs, sexual organs, and or permanent nerve damage. Not to mention that the surgery could make symptoms worse.
The second doctor said that the Tarlov cyst isn’t causing my problems but couldn’t say really what it was so he pawned me off on a pain management office.
The last doctor told me to suck it up. I am just going to have to figure out a way to deal with my pain. Their big thing is that peoples mind are unbalanced because of all the pain medication and their method of fixing my pain is counseling and gradually taking me off my pain medications. So far this has not worked.
The Tarlov cyst Disease isn’t an important enough disease to get national attention and support, but it’s just big enough to ruin peoples life and leaves us alone and helpless. The Tarlov Cyst Association answers the question Are Tarlov cysts a type of cancer? Here’s what they say:
Tarlov cysts are not cancer. Symptomatic Tarlov cysts are morbid enlargements that continue to grow, which, according to historical usage, qualifies them to be classed as tumors; however, Tarlov cysts grow from the pressure of spinal fluid within them, not through abnormal cell division. So Tarlov cysts are not neoplasms or cancer.
Like cancer, however, Tarlov cysts can cause severe debilitating pain and can also damage distant organs; Tarlov cysts do this by affecting the flow of nerve energy and the pressure of spinal fluid.
Like cancer, Tarlov cysts can cause intractable pain and can lead to severe depression and suicidal behavior. Unlike cancer, symptomatic Tarlov cysts are rarely diagnosed. There is no medical "industry" in the diagnosis and treatment of Tarlov disease.
Tarlov disease can advance to the stage of constant excruciating pain. If not successfully treated, a person in this stage of the disease can die from the stress of the suffering, from the pain medications, or from suicide. Although Tarlov disease is not a form of cancer, it should be should be taken with as much seriousness by doctors, patients and their families.
The most important word in their reading is “Seriously” We are defiantly not taken seriously. Are we not important? I feel as if I will die because of this disease. I have always felt I was put on this earth for a reason not yet shown to me. So if this is my reason than let my voice be heard. I am tired of being pushed around. I have a rare disease. I am in pain all the time. I am depressed. I need assistance. I need someone who is here for the greater good. I NEED HELPPPPPP!!! IS ANYONE LISTENING? Why is nothing being done about this?
Tarlov Cyst Links:
Tarlov Cyst Association
http://www.tarlovcyst.org/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1
Tarlov Cyst Disease Foundation
http://www.tarlovcystfoundation.org/Home.asp
National Organization for Rare Disorders
http://www.rarediseases.org/search/rdbdetail_abstract.html?disname=Tarlov%20Cysts
Monday, May 10, 2010
Loneliness
According to Wikipedia, Loneliness is a feeling in which people experience a strong sense of emptiness and solitude. Loneliness is often compared to feeling empty, unwanted, and unimportant. Why is friendship so important? About how long do you think you could last without any human interactions? I can remember a time when my life was full of friendship and laughter. Why is it, as we get older our circle of friends gets smaller and smaller? Could it be because we have more responsibilities and less time for ourselves?
These are questions I seem to be asking myself all the time. Since my accident I have found myself alone more than normal. I don’t even have adult conversations anymore. I live my life threw my husband, sister, and best friend. Even though my time is spent with my children and I love them with all my heart, I could use an adult night with no kids.
My friends and family are so busy with their lives that they just cannot fit me in their schedules, leaving me alone at home all the time by myself (another reason for the start of this blog). I am not upset with them because I understand. When all of my friends where having children I was single and ready to mingle and I could never figure out why they had to always reschedule or they were always late. When I had children I finally understood, kids are very unpredictable. So again I completely understand. I just feel like I am the last thing on everyone’s list. Pick up kids, check, Go to the bank, check, go to soccer game, check, get groceries, check, pick up dry cleaning, check, oh and Anne she can wait till tomorrow. I know that’s not the way it goes but that’s how I feel it goes.
Sometimes I wish I was somewhere else. I hate this disease!!!!!!!
“When we truly realize that we are all alone is when we need others the most” (Roland Anthony)
These are questions I seem to be asking myself all the time. Since my accident I have found myself alone more than normal. I don’t even have adult conversations anymore. I live my life threw my husband, sister, and best friend. Even though my time is spent with my children and I love them with all my heart, I could use an adult night with no kids.
My friends and family are so busy with their lives that they just cannot fit me in their schedules, leaving me alone at home all the time by myself (another reason for the start of this blog). I am not upset with them because I understand. When all of my friends where having children I was single and ready to mingle and I could never figure out why they had to always reschedule or they were always late. When I had children I finally understood, kids are very unpredictable. So again I completely understand. I just feel like I am the last thing on everyone’s list. Pick up kids, check, Go to the bank, check, go to soccer game, check, get groceries, check, pick up dry cleaning, check, oh and Anne she can wait till tomorrow. I know that’s not the way it goes but that’s how I feel it goes.
Sometimes I wish I was somewhere else. I hate this disease!!!!!!!
“When we truly realize that we are all alone is when we need others the most” (Roland Anthony)
Sunday, May 9, 2010
To all those Mean Mommies Happy Mother's Day!!!
I got sent this beautiful reading the other day and I feel it's is a great thing to share with all of the mothers and all of the mother to be.
Mean Moms
Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.
And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work.
We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms!
Thank you to the one who wrote this and to those who read this. Hope you enjoy.
Happy Mother's Day!
Mean Moms
Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.
And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work.
We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms!
Thank you to the one who wrote this and to those who read this. Hope you enjoy.
Happy Mother's Day!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Random Acts of Kindness
Do you know that feeling you get when something bad happens to you and it requires you to ask someone for help and instead of helping you, they look at you with discuss, like how dare you ask me for help.Today I was at the gas station and this woman in her early to late forties, walked up to some random people with a gas can in hand . I watched while she went from car to car asking for help. People were rude, mean, and one guy had the nerve to tell her she should have look at her gas hand before she left her house. She didn't ask us for help, so I took the liberty of going to her. My husband and I gave her four dollars and gave her a ride back to her car.
WHAT HAS HAPPEN TO US? Where is the love, respect, and kindness? How do we expect our children to do the right thing when their role models don't even show human decency? We are so caught up in protecting ourselves, that we forget how to be human.
Instead of always saying no,why don't you try saying yes once in awhile. Helping others comes in many forms. It could be just giving a neighbor a ride, cleaning a sick friends house, or instead of throwing away old items, giving them to someone you know may need it.
Do onto other as you would be done onto.
No one person is better than any one else. We are all equal and we all bleed red. You could be just a bad day away from the homeless family that has to sleep on the streets. There are some many families that are just barely hanging on by a thread. Remember random acts of kindness helps everyone, even you.
Watch the movie Pay it Forward. Very inspirational.
What have you done today to help someone besides yourself?
WHAT HAS HAPPEN TO US? Where is the love, respect, and kindness? How do we expect our children to do the right thing when their role models don't even show human decency? We are so caught up in protecting ourselves, that we forget how to be human.
Instead of always saying no,why don't you try saying yes once in awhile. Helping others comes in many forms. It could be just giving a neighbor a ride, cleaning a sick friends house, or instead of throwing away old items, giving them to someone you know may need it.
Do onto other as you would be done onto.
No one person is better than any one else. We are all equal and we all bleed red. You could be just a bad day away from the homeless family that has to sleep on the streets. There are some many families that are just barely hanging on by a thread. Remember random acts of kindness helps everyone, even you.
Watch the movie Pay it Forward. Very inspirational.
What have you done today to help someone besides yourself?
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Perception
I watched the movie Lovely Bones this morning with my husband. Very touching movie! If you haven’t watched it yet, please do and I am not going to spoil it for you. Simply put, it’s about a missing little girl. We have two girls of our own and this movie just hit home. I think I might even have seen a tear in my husband’s eyes. (it’s the little things like that, that lets me know he is a good man and he loves us.) So in the movie Suzy the little girl said “it’s funny about perception; you only see what you want to see.
Ever since I got hurt, people say that I have been acting crazy and I am mad all the time, to the point that I have even drove my mom and sister away (which is funny because I always thought that I was the sane one of the family). The point is I am not so much mad, but frustrated, hurt, in pain, and lonely. I guess it just comes out wrong. Some day’s it is just not the day and I don’t want to get up because I just don’t want my reality to set in I guess. The hard thing is, there is no one really to talk to. I don’t want to worry my mother-in-law because even though she is a strong woman, she can also be very fragile, I want my sister-in-law to be proud of us, so I like giving only good reports, I don’t want to give my family satisfaction of failure, I don’t want all of my burdens on my children shoulders because they have had to grow up so much already and they deserve to be children, and then comes Boo, (my husband) he is a man first (no one is perfect) but he really loves us and he is under a lot of stress. It is because of him that we have a roof over our head and food on our table, He works so hard and so much, he should be able to come home and just relax. Don't misunderstand my thoughts. I don’t want anybody to read this and think that I want or will do something stupid, because I won’t. I have always been good at knowing when things aren’t right and a change is needed. Besides my doctor told me he was going to apply for a pain management program because he said my hormones and brain are not balanced. It is about how I can be the ebst me in my certain circumstance. He said after awhile the meds. kind of take over, which I don’t agree with but, I do think it would be good to talk to someone who is willing and able to hear what's on my mind.
It is funny how people create opinions of me off the small part of my life I share with them, instead of getting to know the real me and then forming their opinion. Why is it that at first glance we think we have someone figured out, but our perception is actually clouded? Maybe we should all step back for a minute and just open our hearts and mind.
Boy, I need a vacation. Sometimes I close my eyes and I dream of a being somewhere exotic and beautiful and quite. No Pain, no yelling, no responsibilities, just pure bliss. Gosh I really need a vacation, but for now the one in my head will have to do.
I know that one day it will be my time, I know I am here for a reason, and I know I am loved. I also know that I just need to keep being patient and I have to continue to work hard on become a better me. This processes just sucks.
Wish me luck!!
Ever since I got hurt, people say that I have been acting crazy and I am mad all the time, to the point that I have even drove my mom and sister away (which is funny because I always thought that I was the sane one of the family). The point is I am not so much mad, but frustrated, hurt, in pain, and lonely. I guess it just comes out wrong. Some day’s it is just not the day and I don’t want to get up because I just don’t want my reality to set in I guess. The hard thing is, there is no one really to talk to. I don’t want to worry my mother-in-law because even though she is a strong woman, she can also be very fragile, I want my sister-in-law to be proud of us, so I like giving only good reports, I don’t want to give my family satisfaction of failure, I don’t want all of my burdens on my children shoulders because they have had to grow up so much already and they deserve to be children, and then comes Boo, (my husband) he is a man first (no one is perfect) but he really loves us and he is under a lot of stress. It is because of him that we have a roof over our head and food on our table, He works so hard and so much, he should be able to come home and just relax. Don't misunderstand my thoughts. I don’t want anybody to read this and think that I want or will do something stupid, because I won’t. I have always been good at knowing when things aren’t right and a change is needed. Besides my doctor told me he was going to apply for a pain management program because he said my hormones and brain are not balanced. It is about how I can be the ebst me in my certain circumstance. He said after awhile the meds. kind of take over, which I don’t agree with but, I do think it would be good to talk to someone who is willing and able to hear what's on my mind.
It is funny how people create opinions of me off the small part of my life I share with them, instead of getting to know the real me and then forming their opinion. Why is it that at first glance we think we have someone figured out, but our perception is actually clouded? Maybe we should all step back for a minute and just open our hearts and mind.
Boy, I need a vacation. Sometimes I close my eyes and I dream of a being somewhere exotic and beautiful and quite. No Pain, no yelling, no responsibilities, just pure bliss. Gosh I really need a vacation, but for now the one in my head will have to do.
I know that one day it will be my time, I know I am here for a reason, and I know I am loved. I also know that I just need to keep being patient and I have to continue to work hard on become a better me. This processes just sucks.
Wish me luck!!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Why me!
So this is my first blog and I am writing this not to cry or complain, but to maybe help someone who might be either in my shoes or feeling the way I feel sometimes.
Now I know people say that the Lord will never give you more that what you can handle. Sometimes, I believe this statement to be true. Other times, I believe I am just cursed.
My family got hit hard by the economic crisis and we lost pretty much everything. Just when we felt we were getting back on our feet I got hurt at work. When the lumbar sprain pain didn't go away they decided to do an MRI and in that MRI they found a Tarlov Cyst. A rare Cyst Disease that can cause some severe pain. Well lucky me my cyst is so big that they classified it as a Giant Sacral Meningeal Diverticula. Basically a really big Tarlov Cyst. The problem with the Cyst is that doctor are not very educated so they assume that this cyst do not cause pain. Oh but they do!!!!
My pain is mainly in my lower back, hips, and legs. I get muscle spasms in my shoulders, I have numbness and weakness in my legs, my bones feel like they are going to fall off, and my newest symptom is these weird feeling headaches. A neurosurgeon in Kansas City wants to do surgery but it cost $35,000 not to mention cost for travel and hotel stay for three weeks. Let me read off some of the high risks involved with surgery: Loss of function in the legs, bowels, bladder, sexual organs, and/or nerve damage.
Now a year into all of this and I still do not have any health insurance except for workers compensation, I am on my second appeal threw SSI (which I will probably get after I die), I really do not have any family/friends that can help me, I have seen several different doctors in my area, my doctors do not believe my pain is real, I have a lawyers who says that they don't personally talk to workers comp clients, My grades in school are now suffering, My pain are getting worse everyday, and My children are suffering. I can not sit, stand, walk, play with my children, go to a movie, or even wash my own damn dishes!! Oh ya not to mention I feel like I am in Hell.
Any Suggestions!
Now I know people say that the Lord will never give you more that what you can handle. Sometimes, I believe this statement to be true. Other times, I believe I am just cursed.
My family got hit hard by the economic crisis and we lost pretty much everything. Just when we felt we were getting back on our feet I got hurt at work. When the lumbar sprain pain didn't go away they decided to do an MRI and in that MRI they found a Tarlov Cyst. A rare Cyst Disease that can cause some severe pain. Well lucky me my cyst is so big that they classified it as a Giant Sacral Meningeal Diverticula. Basically a really big Tarlov Cyst. The problem with the Cyst is that doctor are not very educated so they assume that this cyst do not cause pain. Oh but they do!!!!
My pain is mainly in my lower back, hips, and legs. I get muscle spasms in my shoulders, I have numbness and weakness in my legs, my bones feel like they are going to fall off, and my newest symptom is these weird feeling headaches. A neurosurgeon in Kansas City wants to do surgery but it cost $35,000 not to mention cost for travel and hotel stay for three weeks. Let me read off some of the high risks involved with surgery: Loss of function in the legs, bowels, bladder, sexual organs, and/or nerve damage.
Now a year into all of this and I still do not have any health insurance except for workers compensation, I am on my second appeal threw SSI (which I will probably get after I die), I really do not have any family/friends that can help me, I have seen several different doctors in my area, my doctors do not believe my pain is real, I have a lawyers who says that they don't personally talk to workers comp clients, My grades in school are now suffering, My pain are getting worse everyday, and My children are suffering. I can not sit, stand, walk, play with my children, go to a movie, or even wash my own damn dishes!! Oh ya not to mention I feel like I am in Hell.
Any Suggestions!
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